Have you ever had a person in your life that frustrates you so much what you want to stick a needle in your eye and suck out all of the jelly? You know that person that is stubborn, stuck in the dark ages and wants to do nothing to change their current situation? If you are fortunate, you have not encountered this person. I have this person in my life and she literally makes me considering taking myself out at times. This person I call Mom.
Her money management is probably the worst I have ever seen in existence. She is always broke, has no savings, and is not concerned with gaining any either. She has had bank accounts in the past, but she doesn't watch her spending and always overdrafts her account. This ends up in money owed to the bank by way of insufficient funds, in addition to overdraft fees. In my mind, you can simply log onto your account or place a phone call to check your balance before you write a check. What seems simple to me is obviously too difficult for some folks to comprehend. The act of checking to see if you have money before you bounce a check is such a challenge that they invalidate this entire critical task. Banks are notorious for holding money or not crediting funds to your account in a timely manner. They will remove funds from your account expeditiously though. Resulting in insufficient funds when it comes time for you to write a check. Unscrupulous? Yes it is. But folks need to remember that banks are a business trying to make money.
Right now, she is calling around begging for money to pay her rent. Why? because she chooses to stay in her present apartment, which she can't afford. Her explanation is "Well, if I was working more, I would be able to afford it." The problem is, she is not working more and tries to bank on the potential to get more work. Planning on uncertainty makes zero sense to me, but somehow it calms her mind and keeps her in her present situation. "If only." I have been hearing that pathetic line for over 30 years. We have been evicted so many times that I have lost count. Growing up unstable and rootless has had a negative impact on my existence.
I am an only child so my mother's dependence is laser focused on me. When she is short of money or needs a definition to a word, she calls me. It pisses me off to no end. Many of these are things that she can do for herself if she put forth a little effort. Nope, it is loads easier to pick up the phone to call me rather than research. Don't get me wrong. I don't mind helping with things that are actually challenging in life, within my means. For example, if you have a math problem that you are struggling with or maybe you need a letter edited. I will help you with those things. But I draw the line on things that you can do yourself just by opening Google.
I am not sure if anyone knows, but I own a condo. Yes. I own a cute little condo in the suburbs of Chicago that is currently vacant. I have offered to let my mother stay there for virtually no money. I would take a hit on gaining more income by letting her stay there. However, this decision is not cutting into my already earned funds, which stings like crazy. She has told me in the past that my place is too small and it is too far away from her jobs. She sent me a text message today saying that she is $300 short on her rent and to pray for her. I told her that she can move into my condo. She did not respond and the crickets started chirping in the background. Why would any person turn down living in a free condo? Because it does not meet her standards. According to her, she requires at least a three bedroom unit now, regardless of whether she can afford it or not.
I have given her tons of resources in an attempt to pull her out of her current situation. She is not interested in resources. She only wants money. She may follow up on the resources but she will do it half-assed. That is because she does not want to do the footwork to get the money, she just wants someone to give it to her. Due to this fucked up behavior, I was teased as a child. My cousins would talk about how poor I was and how my mother always called her mom asking for money. That is extremely embarrassing and it hurt like hell. "Yo mama always calling down here asking for money." I still hear it in my mind as though it happened a few hours ago. This occurred when my mother got evicted, and we were going from place to place to lay our heads. We had no where to go so she sent me to live with my aunt and her family for a year. I thrived in school when I was away, but I was teased and bullied relentlessly. Therefore I was depressed, ugly and skinny.
Fast-forward to today and my mother is still on the same bullshit with no signs of changing. Her money habits are still monkey shit poor and she is too stubborn to make a change. She is only concerned about the present, and the future will take care of itself. The other excuse that I love is that god will take care of it. Yeah okay, you keep on pushing with that concept. She pissed me off when she asked me to pray for her. Pray to who/what exactly? I don't pray and I am not about to start now. That was a very disrespectful request, but I just let it roll off my back. Anyway, I have modeled my financial strategy based on the complete opposite of what she has demonstrated to me. I try to save, watch my spending and try to plan for my future. Where was my father in all of this you ask? Drunk. End of story.
Jacked Mental,
A.P.
Her money management is probably the worst I have ever seen in existence. She is always broke, has no savings, and is not concerned with gaining any either. She has had bank accounts in the past, but she doesn't watch her spending and always overdrafts her account. This ends up in money owed to the bank by way of insufficient funds, in addition to overdraft fees. In my mind, you can simply log onto your account or place a phone call to check your balance before you write a check. What seems simple to me is obviously too difficult for some folks to comprehend. The act of checking to see if you have money before you bounce a check is such a challenge that they invalidate this entire critical task. Banks are notorious for holding money or not crediting funds to your account in a timely manner. They will remove funds from your account expeditiously though. Resulting in insufficient funds when it comes time for you to write a check. Unscrupulous? Yes it is. But folks need to remember that banks are a business trying to make money.
Right now, she is calling around begging for money to pay her rent. Why? because she chooses to stay in her present apartment, which she can't afford. Her explanation is "Well, if I was working more, I would be able to afford it." The problem is, she is not working more and tries to bank on the potential to get more work. Planning on uncertainty makes zero sense to me, but somehow it calms her mind and keeps her in her present situation. "If only." I have been hearing that pathetic line for over 30 years. We have been evicted so many times that I have lost count. Growing up unstable and rootless has had a negative impact on my existence.
I am an only child so my mother's dependence is laser focused on me. When she is short of money or needs a definition to a word, she calls me. It pisses me off to no end. Many of these are things that she can do for herself if she put forth a little effort. Nope, it is loads easier to pick up the phone to call me rather than research. Don't get me wrong. I don't mind helping with things that are actually challenging in life, within my means. For example, if you have a math problem that you are struggling with or maybe you need a letter edited. I will help you with those things. But I draw the line on things that you can do yourself just by opening Google.
I am not sure if anyone knows, but I own a condo. Yes. I own a cute little condo in the suburbs of Chicago that is currently vacant. I have offered to let my mother stay there for virtually no money. I would take a hit on gaining more income by letting her stay there. However, this decision is not cutting into my already earned funds, which stings like crazy. She has told me in the past that my place is too small and it is too far away from her jobs. She sent me a text message today saying that she is $300 short on her rent and to pray for her. I told her that she can move into my condo. She did not respond and the crickets started chirping in the background. Why would any person turn down living in a free condo? Because it does not meet her standards. According to her, she requires at least a three bedroom unit now, regardless of whether she can afford it or not.
I have given her tons of resources in an attempt to pull her out of her current situation. She is not interested in resources. She only wants money. She may follow up on the resources but she will do it half-assed. That is because she does not want to do the footwork to get the money, she just wants someone to give it to her. Due to this fucked up behavior, I was teased as a child. My cousins would talk about how poor I was and how my mother always called her mom asking for money. That is extremely embarrassing and it hurt like hell. "Yo mama always calling down here asking for money." I still hear it in my mind as though it happened a few hours ago. This occurred when my mother got evicted, and we were going from place to place to lay our heads. We had no where to go so she sent me to live with my aunt and her family for a year. I thrived in school when I was away, but I was teased and bullied relentlessly. Therefore I was depressed, ugly and skinny.
Fast-forward to today and my mother is still on the same bullshit with no signs of changing. Her money habits are still monkey shit poor and she is too stubborn to make a change. She is only concerned about the present, and the future will take care of itself. The other excuse that I love is that god will take care of it. Yeah okay, you keep on pushing with that concept. She pissed me off when she asked me to pray for her. Pray to who/what exactly? I don't pray and I am not about to start now. That was a very disrespectful request, but I just let it roll off my back. Anyway, I have modeled my financial strategy based on the complete opposite of what she has demonstrated to me. I try to save, watch my spending and try to plan for my future. Where was my father in all of this you ask? Drunk. End of story.
Jacked Mental,
A.P.
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